When a dear friend of mine departed suddenly and cruelly from this world, about five years ago as of this writing, it was my first true experience with blunt-faced, unyielding grief. I must have written close to ten songs about this experience between now and then, anxious or dare I say *frightened* to release any of them and expose myself while in this state of extreme vulnerability... but I think this song encapsulates the entire ordeal as succinctly as I can condense it, although the song being seven minutes long is no accident. Sometimes I feel lots of things.
We unearth the story in the brief first stanza (talking about romance is something I have lifelong struggled to navigate), and the story's emotional concepts are explained in the second, along with my own difficulty in trying to untangle them.
Love is lots of things, but for me, it is primarily a form of escape from the harshness of reality. The sensation of safety and security that you can confide absolutely anything in another person who will be an everpresent part of your life. It is a home, a fortress, a reset button - an entrance to another world altogether.
Years on from this loss, I had the realisation that is lyrically explained in the 2-minute long outro. People these days are obsessed with planning for the future, and living in the present moment, so as never to miss a beat or to become distracted or derailed from their path in life.
But what if there is solace and comfort in the past? Is there shame in longing? Is there only so much time we are allotted to process our traumas? Is there a limit to the time we are permitted to spend cuddling our past experiences before they are suddenly urged away from us, in the name of "getting over it"?
Personally, I think not.
Love cut tragically short would be a shock to anyone's system. The past may be the past, but it is ultimately something to learn from and to embrace. It can be on your side.
As of this writing I still have yet to rekindle those exact feelings I felt for my lost friend. Oftentimes it feels infinitely out of reach, but I welcome the idea that it could be just a touch away.
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lyrics
A lifelong obsession
With me since birth
I buried it here
Down in the undergrowth
If love is a gateway
It's been closed off and shut away
Thorns overgrown on the cemetery walls
And I'm nowhere near that brave
Your love was a gateway
My eternal getaway
So many things I'll never say
I've never felt this way
(Love is a gateway)
(If love is a gateway...)
I want to be trapped inside your cage
The warmth of your embrace
I want to reverse the day and age
I thought we were safe
Out of the frying pan, into the fire
Out of the cesspool and into the mire
Out of the prison and into the pyre
Death is the denier
Oh the way you made me feel
Umbilically safe
Oh the way this makes me feel
Unspeakable rage
Tension and release
It lasted but a second in the grand scheme
The one thing that comforts me
The hellfire brought you peace
Days just seem to worsen
There’s no second turn
Heaven, lower your defense
I need things to make sense again
(I need things to make sense again)
Out of the frying pan, into the fire
Out of the cesspool and into the mire
Out of the prison and into the pyre
Death becomes my driver
If this has taught me anything
The past can be a beautiful thing
If this has taught me anything
The past can be a beautiful thing
And if you’re never lost in the moment
Will you remember where you’ve been?
If this has taught me anything
The past can be a beautiful thing
And if you’re never lost in the moment
Will you remember where you’ve been?
(Love is a gateway)
(Love is a getaway)
(Love is a gateway)
(Love is a better way)
(Love is a gateway)
(Love is a getaway)
(Love is a gateway)
Oh, it’s just a touch away
credits
from Desync (Deluxe Edition),
released September 9, 2022
Additional personnel:
Derek Sherinian - keyboard solo
supported by 12 fans who also own “Love is a Gateway [ft. Derek Sherinian]”
this is rock & roll. this is metal. this is an album by esselfortium, an extremely exciting artist in exciting times for indie music.
if this is what she's doing now, what the hell is she gonna do next? wallets out, everyone, and join me (& this album) in looking forward.
listen front to back: it's a movie in your head. jamesedwardand
supported by 10 fans who also own “Love is a Gateway [ft. Derek Sherinian]”
Absolutely sublime, an essential to any MIDI enthusiast. Vanilla compatible as well.
Of course if you don't know, you should play BTSX using a source port of your choice: You can use ZDL to load up source ports and cleanly select multiple pk3s and WADs to run.
The interface of ZDL is a bit clunky but, to play BTSX all you would really need to do is drag and drop the WAD to a sourceport exe to launch it.
I recommend GZDoom for utility, Woof for authenticity, and DSDA if you're speedy boi. BrickDickRick
More far-flung techno from a Spanish artist who combines whiplash-inducing tempos and rave synths to achieve maximum danceability. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 7, 2024
A stunning, minimalist contemporary classical piece by the Glasgow-based composer, performed by the chamber music duo GAIA. Bandcamp New & Notable Sep 13, 2023
supported by 8 fans who also own “Love is a Gateway [ft. Derek Sherinian]”
Transmission Control is a delightful soundtrack. The songs all have a delightful vibe (that also really well matches the original game), and are great to listen to. Excellent music.
Additionally, the game is also absolutely worth checking out. Kamani